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De-Stress Your Writing Life: Believing You Can Please Everyone and Believing You Need to Fit a Type/Mold

Title artwork for De-Stress Your Writing Life

This year I’m blogging my book De-Stress Your Writing Life. You can read it for free on Creativity’s Workshop every Friday. Today’s post is part of the chapter on Discovering Your Writing Fears and Barriers.

We’ve already covered many of the fears writers face here, here, here, here, here, and here. We’ve also looked at how you can create a rescue plan to overcome your personal writing fears and barriers. Now we’re going to look at a few beliefs that can cause barriers to writing.

Believing You’ll be Able to Please Everyone

Almost every writer wants to have happy readers – people who enjoy reading their work and are anxious to read whatever the writer is currently working on. This is a normal expectation. After all, if you like what you’re writing, chances are there will be others out there who share your likes.

However, at times that expectation can morph into the belief that we can somehow write something that everyone will like. Our thinking could become black and white, believing that if one of our readers doesn’t like our writing it therefore means our writing is a complete failure.

The result of this belief can be:

  • Reluctance in sending our writing out into the world (either to beta readers, as submissions, or through self-publishing).
  • Extreme disappointment when receiving negative feedback or reviews, leading to us giving up on writing altogether.
  • Continual rewriting in the hope that we’ll somehow create the perfect story.

The truth is it is impossible to please everyone. People have different tastes. Some readers love period romance, while others can’t stand it. Some readers like nothing better to curl up with a fast-paced thriller, while others are looking for a meandering tale without the adrenaline.

This diversity means there will always be someone who does not like, or does not ‘get’ what you are writing about. However, it also means that if your story is strong enough and well-presented, there will be an audience of some size and description who will enjoy what you’ve written. These people are known as your ‘target audience.’

Understanding that you will not be able to please everyone can help you to relax. It means you don’t have to force your story and characters to appeal to a broader audience, you can allow them to form naturally as you, the writer, intended. It also means you don’t have to become overly upset at negative feedback. If it’s obvious that the reader doesn’t fit your target audience, then it was unlikely that the story was going to appeal to them in the first place.

If you relate to this belief, then you need to take some time to define your target audience. This will not only help you become more resilient when faced with negative feedback, but will also help you tailor your writing to appeal to your ideal readers.

Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers. You might even give your target reader a name if you feel that would help you come up with more specific answers.

  • What genre/sub-genre does my target audience prefer? (Romance? Sci-fi? Fantasy? Steampunk?)
  • How would my target audience describe their favorite book? (Action-packed? Character-driven? Unpredictable? Satisfying conclusion?)
  • What does my target audience look for in a good book? (Is it set in an interesting world? Does it cover a specific topic?)
  • How does my target audience discover new books? (Searching online? Word of mouth? Magazine articles?)
  • How does my target audience decide whether they have enjoyed a book? (If they emotionally related to the characters? If they were surprised by the ending?)

Once you have created this profile, take a moment to imagine the people who would not fit that profile. If your work is properly targeted to your ideal readers, then there will naturally be people who will not enjoy your work.

This may take time to come to terms with, but it’s an important realization as it will help you to face the emotional ups and downs inherent in the writing life.

Once you have convinced yourself that you do not need to please everyone, you can focus on pleasing your audience.

Believing You Have to Fit a Type/Mold

As we mentioned in Chapter 1, many people have preconceptions of what makes a writer. But in reality, writers are an extremely diverse bunch. Some are introverts, some are extraverts. Some love the outdoors, some prefer a snug corner. Some function best in the early morning, some are night owls.

At times we may look at a fellow writer whom we admire, or who is experiencing success, and begin to think we should be more like him or her. We may believe we should change our writing schedule, chosen genre, storytelling method or all manner of things in an attempt to fit the type or mold of that writer.

While there is nothing wrong with trying new things in our writing and taking every opportunity to learn something new, the danger lies in losing ourselves while trying to better ourselves.

This belief may cause us to:

  • Radically change aspects of ourselves and our writing because we are trying to replicate what another writer (or group of writers) have.
  • Ignore our own personal experiences and feelings because they don’t match the ‘model writer’ we’re trying to emulate.

In the process of trying to become like another writer, we may lose what is unique and interesting about ourselves and our writing voice. This belief can be a major contributor to ‘writer’s block,’ because we are attempting to replace our words with someone else’s words – words that cannot, and will not, come naturally.

The world doesn’t need another Hemmingway or Tolstoy. It needs something different. Something fresh. It needs you in your truest form.

We can learn many things from our fellow writers, including great tips that can make our writing better. So where do we draw the line? At what point does learning from other writers, and using their writing methods as inspiration, start to impinge on our uniqueness as individuals?

The solution is to give your personal writing experience equal weight. Make sure you’re in touch with your needs and what works for your creative process.

For example, a writer may enjoy writing at 10 o’clock at night. The day is finished and they’re able to relax into the world they are creating on the page. The house is quiet and their mind is clear. But then they read a tip from a famous author saying writers should always start their day writing. What should our example writer do?

a) Completely change their writing schedule. Get up an hour earlier each morning and write.

b) Change their schedule for a week and see whether writing in the morning makes any difference.

c) Stick to their current schedule and have confidence they know what’s best for their writing routine.

Many writers, especially those who do not yet have confidence in themselves as writers, may choose option A in the belief that writing in the early morning is obviously what ‘real writers’ do. However, in the process they may sacrifice the writing routine that was working for them.

On the other hand, if the writer has never tried changing their writing time then option C may not be the best response either. They may be missing out on a change which could help them improve their output.

Option B allows the writer to test out the piece of advice and decide whether or not it works for them. It may not work, in which case they can simply revert back to their evening routine. If it does work, that does not mean that all ‘real writers’ write in the morning. It means that this writer writes well in the morning.

‘Real writers’ are such a diverse group that you could pick just about any fact (no matter how strange) and find a ‘real writer’ who does it. For example, ‘real writers’ own cats. ‘Real writers’ drink hot chocolate with chili. ‘Real writers’ write their stories backwards. ‘Real writers’ compose everything in iambic pentameter.

See what I mean?

So, approach your writing life asking these two questions:

  • What can I learn from other writers?
  • What works for me?

The answers to both these questions have equal weight.

*****

Add your comment below. Who is your target audience? Who don’t ‘get’ your writing?

*****

My writing is my living, and I’m currently working under some tight deadlines for upcoming fiction projects, but I take time out of my week to publish this because I made a promise to you, my readers, that I would post here every Friday.

If you’ve found the above helpful, please either send the information on to a fellow writer you feel would benefit or leave a little donation in the kitty to help things along.

Everyone who donates will receive a free electronic copy of the book once it has reached completion.

Thanks for dropping by.

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Have You Missed Any of These De-Stress Your Writing Life Posts?

Title artwork for De-Stress Your Writing Life

This year I’m blogging my book De-Stress Your Writing Life, and I’ve done my best to post a chunk of it here every Friday. But at the moment I’m battling a viral infection that is not only refusing to relinquish it’s killer hold on my throat, but has also caused a flare up of my chronic fatigue. So for the sake of my health I’m not pushing myself to write until the flu symptoms have passed.

Instead, I’m going to compile a list of the De-Stress Your Writing Life posts we’ve had so far and the headings covered. Firstly, here is the post where I announced the book and my blogging plans.

The blue headings are hyperlinks to the posts. The bullet points under the hyperlink show the headings within that post. 

Introduction

  • Where Does Writing Stress Come From?
  • How This Book Works

Is This the Right Book for You?

  • Who This Book is Not For
  • Who This Book is For

Section Introduction: Mindset

Chapter 1. A Writer is a Person Who Writes

Part 1

  • I Put Words Together, Therefore I am a Writer
  • You’re Never Too Young to Write
  • You’re Never Too Old to Write

Part 2

  • You Don’t Have to be an Expert in Anything
  • You Don’t Have to be a Recluse
  • You Don’t Have to be a Coffee Addict
  • Not All Writers Are Weird

Chapter 2. Living Life as a Writer

Part 1

  • The Bubbling of Words

Part 2

  • Life Feeds Your Writing
    • Embracing Details
    • Noticing Themes Around You

Part 3

  • Writing Feeds Your Life
    • Choosing Adventure
    • Taking the Writer’s Journey
  • Understanding the Possibilities of a Writer’s Life

Chapter 3. The Independent Writer

Part 1

  • Finding the Right Fit for You

Part 2

  • Avoiding Self-Defeating Thoughts
    • Capturing Negative Thoughts
    • Refuting Negative Thoughts

Part 3

  • Taking Control of Your Writing Life
  • Writing For Beauty, Not Perfection
  • Process Oriented Rather Than Product Oriented

Part 4

  • Factors Beyond Your Control
    • Illness
    • Medication
    • Grief
    • Children
  • How to Cope
    • Don’t ‘Should’ Yourself
    • Redirect Your Energies
    • Write ‘Inwards’ Instead of ‘Outwards’
    • Record What You Have Accomplished
    • Look Forwards and Continually Re-Evaluate

Chapter 4. Discovering Your Writing Fears and Barriers

Part 1

  • Defining Your Fear

Part 2

  • Fear of Starting
  • Fear of Getting Something Wrong

Part 3

  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of the Writer Stigma

Part 4

  • Fear of Committing
  • Fear of Criticism

Part 5

  • Fear of Being Called a Fraud
  • Fear of Losing Your Creative Edge

Part 6

  • Fear of Success
  • Fear of Not Being Able to Reproduce Success

Part 7

  • Fear of the Unknown

Part 8

  • Believing You Can Please Everyone
  • Believing You Need to Fit a Type/Mold

Part 9

  • Believing You’ll Never Make a Difference

Part 10

  • Creating a Rescue Plan
    • Step 1: Identify Warning Signs
    • Step 2: Get the Problem Down on Paper
    • Step 3: Find a Solution

Chapter 5. Taking Control of Your Mindset

Part 1

  • Fill Your Emotional Needs
    • Comfort
    • Sympathy

Part 2

  • Fill Your Emotional Needs
    • Permission
    • Recognition
    • Approval
    • Inspiration
    • Direction

Part 3

  • Write a Personalized Pep Talk
    • Identify Your Biggest Problem
    • Decide What You Need to Hear
    • Write Your Pep Talk
    • Refer to Your Pep Talk Regularly

Part 4

  • What True Balance Means

Do you have a favourite post so far? What other topics would you like to see covered in this series?

My writing is my living and thanks to this flu some of my release deadlines are looming large and will probably have to be rescheduled. But I know how much some of you have enjoyed these posts and benefited from the suggestions, so I want to keep writing them for you.

If you’ve found the above helpful, please either send the information on to a fellow writer you feel would benefit or leave a little donation in the kitty to help things along.

Everyone who donates will receive a free electronic copy of the book once it has reached completion.

Thanks for dropping by.

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A New Hashtag for Writers: #WriterInNeed

WriterInNeed hashtag

Background Image Credit: Microsoft Clip Art

(I have been battling a bad cold/viral infection for the past week and a half, and spent most of last week flat on my back so I missed my De-Stress Your Writing Life deadline for the first time this year. My apologies to everyone. I hope to be back up and running soon.) 

There are many great Twitter groups out there for writers, such as #MyWANA and #WriteClub, where writers can get encouragement, support and plenty of random fun.

However I would like to encourage the use of a new hashtag specifically for writers who are looking for help with something writing related: #WriterInNeed

Why Do We Need Another Hashtag?

While the hashtags mentioned are wonderful author communities, the messages tweeted cover a variety of topics, including blog posts, word counts, and random thoughts. The #WriterInNeed hashtag is specifically for writers looking for help with their writing related problem.

For example, this hashtag can be used:

  • If you’re looking for a beta reader with specific qualifications (such as someone with police experience or someone who has traveled to a location you’re describing in your story).
  • If you need help with a language (for example, if you wish to use a French phrase in something you are writing).
  • If you’re looking for good research resources for your writing (for example, if you want to know of a good website or book on the subject of lace making).
  • If you would like help from your fellow writers with simple decisions (like which cover art to use or what to name your characters).
  • If you want suggestions on good writing books dealing with an area of writing that you have difficulty with.

I will keep a close eye on this hashtag and do my best to refer the writer in need to a fellow writer who may be able to help, or at least retweet it to my followers so that someone else may be able to help. I may also mention certain WriterInNeed tweets on my blog to help spread the word.

Will This Work?

I am constantly amazed at the wealth of experience the writers are I have encountered on Twitter possess.

Just recently, I helped a writer get in touch with someone who had experience in Latin. Within minutes the writer had a Latin phrase she could use in her novel. It really was that easy.

Wouldn’t it be great if all of us could get answers to our writing problems that quickly? I’m hoping that #WriterInNeed will bring us a little closer to that ideal.

Let’s give it a go!

What writing hashtags do you use? How could you use #WriterInNeed?


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De-Stress Your Writing Life: Creating a Rescue Plan to Overcome Your Fears

Title artwork for De-Stress Your Writing Life

This year I’m blogging my book De-Stress Your Writing Life. You can read it for free on Creativity’s Workshop every Friday. Today’s post is part of the chapter on Discovering Your Writing Fears and Barriers.

So far we’ve been looking at writing fears. There are still two more posts to come that cover beliefs which cause barriers in our writing life. However, because I sometimes write out of order, today I’m posting the end of this chapter while still working on the other two posts. 

Creating a Rescue Plan

Now you’ve seen some of the causes of writing fears and barriers, and how you can overcome each problem with a change in thinking or in writing habits. Does that mean that after you’ve read this chapter you should never face a writing fear or barrier ever again?

No.

Fear is your body’s natural protective mechanism and there will always be things that trigger it. This is the way we are designed.

Just about all writers will face problems in their writing life. The fears and barriers they face will change with each new project or phase of the project.

Aiming to eradicate fear from your life will only lead to a constant battle. Instead, think of the process as a dance – where the fear appears and you find a way to gracefully sidestep it each time.

Knowing there will be times when fears or barriers arise means you can prepare for them. The following three step plan will help you to:

  • Notice when a fear or barrier is starting to impact on your writing,
  • Understand the root cause of the problem, and
  • Find a way to sidestep the issue so you can continue your productive writing life.

Step 1: Identify Warning Signs

Before your writing completely halts in ‘writer’s block’ there are usually warning signs. Your warning signs are unique to you. They may include:

  • A drop in writing output. You may find you word count slowing. Your writing may feel sluggish and anemic.
  • Increased frustration. You may encounter difficulties in your plot or inconsistencies with your characters.
  • Excuses for not writing. Other tasks in your life may seem to take on added importance. You may find you’re more interested in cleaning the grout in your shower than you are in your novel.
  • A dread of the page. What started out as a fun story idea my gradually turn into a weight on your mind. You lose your excitement for your project.
  • A shiny, new idea. Funnily enough, finding yourself excited by a new idea can often be a warning sign that things with your current project are not going well. Your mind may be trying to distract you from the fear you’re facing.

These may be subtle signs at first, but they indicate a deeper problem – a problem you need to address. The sooner you can do something about the fear or barrier you’re facing, the sooner you can move on with your writing.

Step 2: Get the Problem Down on Paper

Noting the warning signs may not reveal what the problem really is. For that, you’ll need to dig a little deeper.

The best way to find out the problem you’re facing is to freewrite. Sit yourself down in front of the page and pour your thoughts out. Write about:

  • How you’re feeling about your writing project.
  • What are the next steps on your project?
  • How do you plan to move forward on this project?
  • Are there any aspects of this project that you’re not sure about?

This process is like massaging a tense shoulder. Gradually the muscle will soften a little and reveal a knot of tension. Once you’ve discovered that knot, you can work on it.

Step 3: Find a Solution

Once you’ve found out what your problem is, then you can work towards implementing a solution.

You might be able to use some of the suggestions mentioned earlier in the chapter, or you might need to come up with a solution unique to your situation. If you’re not sure of what to do, turn to someone in your support structure (perhaps a fellow writer or a writing mentor) to brainstorm suggestions.

Don’t sit back and let the fear paralyze you. Get working on a solution.

*****

Add your comment below. What are your warning signs?

*****

My writing is my living, and I’m currently working under some tight deadlines for upcoming fiction projects, but I take time out of my week to publish this because I made a promise to you, my readers, that I would post here every Friday.

If you’ve found the above helpful, please either send the information on to a fellow writer you feel would benefit or leave a little donation in the kitty to help things along.

Everyone who donates will receive a free electronic copy of the book once it has reached completion.

Thanks for dropping by.

PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online


Leave a comment

Voice Recognition – The Answer to Repetitive Strain Injury?

A woman holding her shoulder in pain.

Image Credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Ever since I was in my early teens, I’ve been plagued with bouts of pain in my wrist, elbow, and shoulder because of ‘chronic overuse.’ For many writers this is the bane of their existence. Some also call this pain Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI).

I’ve been relatively pain free for the past few years, thanks to enforced rest due to chronic illness. Now that I’m getting back into the swing of writing on a regular basis, the pain is returning.

For a few weeks now I have been trying to improve the ergonomics of my work space but it hasn’t been enough, so I’ve had to think creatively.

A week ago I activated the voice recognition software on my computer to see if would make a difference. I’ve known about voice-to-text software for a while now but never had the inclination to set it up. Now, thanks to circumstances, I’ve been forced to do so.

I won’t lie, it does take a lot of getting used to. It takes a lot of patience to teach the computer my voice patterns, strange word choices, and Australian accent. However, it is worth it to reduce the pain.

I’ll be interested to see if this change in writing method also changes my writing voice. Instead of thumping away at my keyboard, structuring sentences as the words flow from my fingers, I now have to form my thoughts into coherent and clear sentences before any words can appear on the page. It may not seem like that big a difference on the surface, but for me it is a completely different working arrangement that is curbing some of my spontaneity as I try to retrain my brain.

I didn’t realise how natural typing had become to me. The words seemed to materialise, from an abstract thought in my mind to solid sentences on the page, all with very little effort on my part. Now my mouth needs to form each tiny the word and every individual punctuation mark.

I’m sure that soon this new way of doing things will feel more natural. It might even turn into me talking to my computer is if it were a child hearing a bedtime story. The possibilities are intriguing. It may even open up a whole raft of new story ideas.

In the meantime though, my writing may be a little stilted until I get the hang of this.

Have you ever try voice recognition software for writing? Do you have any suggestions or questions?


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De-Stress Your Writing Life: Fear of the Unknown

Title artwork for De-Stress Your Writing Life

This year I’m blogging my book De-Stress Your Writing Life. You can read it for free on Creativity’s Workshop every Friday. Today’s post is part of the chapter on Discovering Your Writing Fears and Barriers.

Fear of the Unknown

In this chapter we have covered a number of fears. But what if you’re not sure what you’re afraid of?

Sometimes not knowing what we will face can bring our writing life to a complete halt. Fear of the unknown may cause us to:

  • Avoid starting a story because we’re not sure where our characters or plot are heading.
  • Hold back from contacting a fellow writer, editor, publisher or mentor because we’re not sure what they will say to us.
  • Make ill-informed decisions about our writing careers because we’re not sure who to turn to for reliable information.
  • Never submit a manuscript because we’re not sure how it will be received.

This fear can make us timid and cause us to curtail our writing efforts in an attempt to ‘play it safe.’ We’re not sure how things will turn out, so we don’t even try.

This is a natural reaction, because this is exactly what fear is designed to do – prevent us from doing something that could cause harm to ourselves. If you were contemplating walking alone through a wolf-infested forest, then ‘playing it safe’ is definitely the best option.

But when it comes to writing, there’s very little that can do lasting physical damage to you. And while it’s true that some writing decisions (such as negotiating writing contracts or deciding to self-publish) may have a long-term impact on your writing career, those can also be tackled with the right research and advice.

Recall the independent writer’s mindset we spoke about in Chapter 3?

That adventurous spirit keeps you writing a story even if you have no idea where it’s headed. Many writers plunge into their stories without knowing where they will end up. Most find their way out the other side, having perhaps taken a few wrong terms but eventually emerging with an intriguing and original manuscript.

The independent writer also has a support group made up of experienced people who can provide reliable information and suggestions when facing important writing decisions.

Here are some ways you can put that independent writer mindset into action to overcome your fear of the unknown.

  • If you’re not sure where to go in your story, then just start writing. Set your characters on a journey and follow them with your notebook and pen. You’ll be surprised how many plot problems can be figured out during the story-telling process.
  • If you’re not sure about a writing decision, do some research. If you’re not sure where the best place to research is, ask someone – maybe a fellow writer, a friend or family member who loves researching, or even a librarian. Turn to that support group you built.
  • If you’re worried about contacting someone because you’re not sure how they will respond, then make a deal with your fear. Tell yourself you’re going to get in touch with two or three people on your wish list of contacts. If it turns out to be as big and scary as your fear predicts, then you’ll stop. Phrasing it this way may make the task seem less daunting. (Hint: It won’t be as big and scary as you’re expecting.)
  • If you’re worried about submitting a manuscript, remind yourself of your writing goals. In order to reach them, you need to put your writing out there. Take a deep breath and do it. Then throw a wild party. (If you’re worried about receiving rejection slips, then take a look at the heading later on in the book “What a Rejection Slip Really Means.”)

Yes, not knowing the outcome of something can be a little frightening, but think of your adventurous writing spirit. Imagine you are a character in one of your novels, about to move into the second act. Interesting, and perhaps even life-changing, things await you in the following chapters of your book. What are you waiting for?

*****

Add your comment below. What unknowns are you currently facing in your writing life?

*****

My writing is my living, and I’m currently working under some tight deadlines for upcoming fiction projects, but I take time out of my week to publish this because I made a promise to you, my readers, that I would post here every Friday.

If you’ve found the above helpful, please either send the information on to a fellow writer you feel would benefit or leave a little donation in the kitty to help things along.

Everyone who donates will receive a free electronic copy of the book once it has reached completion.

Thanks for dropping by.

PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online


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You Too? Where Do You Get Your Best Ideas?

A woman happily walking outdoors.

Do you get your best writing ideas while out walking?
(Image Credit: Microsoft Clip Art)

Welcome to another installment of ‘You Too?’ where I ask you a writing related question and you share insights about your writing life.

Today, I thought we’d do a poll!

I’m sure all of us get ideas when we least expect them. This is because most ideas come to us when we’re relaxed, while our mind is concentrating on something other than our writing problems. 

So I’m interested to know where you get your best ideas. I’ve added some of the classic places to this poll, but if you have a different place then let me know and I’ll add the option. Feel free to select multiple options if they apply.

The next question is, how do you record those ideas?

Again, I’ve listed some of the common options, but I’m sure there are plenty more I haven’t thought of so tell me what I’ve missed in the comments. Feel free to select multiple options if they apply.

I look forward to seeing the results!


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De-Stress Your Writing Life: Fear of Success and Fear of Not Repeating Success

Title artwork for De-Stress Your Writing Life

This year I’m blogging my book De-Stress Your Writing Life. You can read it for free on Creativity’s Workshop every Friday. Today’s post is part of the chapter on Discovering Your Writing Fears and Barriers.

Fear of Success

There are times when the very thing we think we want is the cause of our greatest fear. Fear of success can come in many forms, ranging from a simple avoidance of situations where our work might be seen to unconscious acts of self-sabotage.

The signs of this fear are many and varied. They may include:

  • Inability to finish writing projects.
  • Making excuses or blaming others for your lack of motivation.
  • Avoiding opportunities to submit your work.
  • Panic at what other people may say about your achievements.

Fear of success is not as easily treated as some of the other fears we’ve discussed in this chapter. It can often come from deep-seated, emotional causes which are unique to each individual. If you find this fear preventing you from making progress in your writing life, then you may need to consider turning to a writing coach or therapist for extra help.

At a basic level, fear of success can come from the belief that you are not worthy of reaching your dreams. Low self-worth may lead you to think you’ll never be one of those people who actually ‘make it.’

You may also believe that becoming successful will change you somehow – that once you’re rich and famous the things that make you you will disappear.

The path to overcoming this fear depends on the reasons for your feelings, which are unique to each person. A therapist or coach can advise you on the best route for you to take.

However, there are a few things that apply to everyone:

  • Think positive. Unfortunately, we often become self-fulfilling prophecies. If we spend time focusing on the negatives, then more negatives will appear. Conversely, thinking positive thoughts, such as being grateful for the things and people around us, can lift our spirits.
  • Be deliberately kind to yourself. It can be much easier to say kind and encouraging things to others than to say them to ourselves. Imagine you are talking to a dear friend who is battling with the same problems you are. Write down what you would say to that friend, and then start each day by reading your message back to yourself.
  • If you’re worried that success will change your best qualities, then write out a ‘pact’ with yourself expressly dictating what aspects of your personality you wish to remain the same. Remember though, with or without success, you will continue to change as you age. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to grow and experience new things.
  • Check your definition of success. Do you have a balanced view of yourself and your plans? Write out the type of success you’re expecting and how you feel about it, and then ask an experienced friend or mentor to go over it with you. Listen for any insights they may offer.

While it’s important not to pin our self-worth on pursuing or reaching success, it’s also important to have a good opinion of ourselves. There will always be things we won’t like about ourselves – that’s part of being human. Finding things we like about ourselves may be a little more challenging, but the search can also be rewarding.

Fear of Not Being Able to Reproduce Success

Although it seems counterintuitive, success in your writing (through publication, or through recognition of some description) can actually make it harder to write your next project.

The signs of this fear are:

  • Avoiding your scheduled writing sessions.
  • Never being happy with your words.
  • Becoming timid or predictable when making writing decisions, for fear doing something new would risk disappointing people.
  • Rereading your past work in the hope you’ll be able to find the magic formula.

So why does this fear come after success? Usually because we feel the bar has now been set, and anything we write after that has much to live up to. We may even feel that we could never write something that good ever again.

One of the causes of this fear is not having enough understanding of what makes a successful book. If success comes early in our writing careers, we may not yet understand exactly what we did to achieve that success, therefore how to reproduce it is a completely mystery to us.

Another reason is the belief that we now have to meet the expectations of our editor, publisher, readers or reviewers. If our debut novel is met with acclaim, we believe everyone will be expecting the next book to be even better. This belief adds extra pressure to every word we write, and may even cause us to consider giving up on writing all together.

Here are a few things you can try to counteract this fear.

  • Start your next novel as soon as your first is in the mail, or up on Amazon. Get straight back into writing. Don’t leave a gap to see how things go with your first book. You’re a writer, so write.
  • Avoid idolizing a certain reader or reviewer. Write for a type of person, not a specific person.
  • Choose writing projects that interest you. Avoid writing something just because you feel you have to. If it’s a chore to write, then your trademark sparkle won’t be there.
  • Continue learning about your trade. Learn what makes a gripping first chapter, what keeps readers turning pages throughout your book, what brings characters to life. The more you know about writing, the more effectively you will weave your tales.
  • Find yourself a writing coach, or an experienced friend who can talk you through your worries, offer you reliable feedback and serve as your cheerleader to point out the things you’re doing well.
  • Most importantly, make sure you are enjoying your writing life. If you’re afraid that you won’t be able to write another novel your readers will love, then write a novel just for you.

The best writing happens when a writer is enjoying themselves. If you’re not enjoying yourself, take the time to understand why and then try to find a solution.

*****

Add your comment below. Have you faced fear of success? What steps have you taken to overcome it?

*****

My writing is my living, and I’m currently working under some tight deadlines for upcoming fiction projects, but I take time out of my week to publish this because I made a promise to you, my readers, that I would post here every Friday.

If you’ve found the above helpful, please either send the information on to a fellow writer you feel would benefit or leave a little donation in the kitty to help things along.

Everyone who donates will receive a free electronic copy of the book once it has reached completion.

Thanks for dropping by.

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Creative Action: Share Some Gratitude

A woman giving her daughter a kiss on the forehead in gratitude.

Image Credit: Microsoft Clip Art

Writing can be a lonely pursuit. When it comes down to the actual writing process, there’s usually just you and the page.

But in the process of learning our writing craft, and making progress with our stories, there are often many people who help us along the way.

They may be:

  • Partners, spouses, roommates and/or children who patiently allow us to bury our heads in our manuscripts day after day.
  • Friends who ask us how our writing is going, and genuinely listen to the response.
  • Beta readers who take time to give their feedback, even if it’s not what we wanted to hear, so that we can fix story problems and reword awkward sentences.
  • Fellow writers who share tips and encouragement on their blogs, in person or through e-mails.
  • Editors who invest in our stories and go over them with an eye for detail, fixing all the tiny little mistakes that turn a manuscript into a finished product.
  • Cover artists who take our rough ideas and turn them into eye-catching imagery so people will be intrigued enough to read our words.
  • Support people who answer our questions and fix our problems, be they problems with websites, manuscript files, uploading, formatting or any other of the numerous technical issues we may come across.
  • Readers who express their excitement at our releases and take time to leave reviews or pass the word on to others who may enjoy our writing.

I’m sure you can think of many more to add to that list.

How often do we take the time to stop and say ‘thank you’ to those who have helped us along the way, to take more than a moment to actually explain the impact that person has had on our writing life?

Now’s your opportunity. This month’s creative action is as follows:

  1. Think of one person who has helped you (they may be on the list above, or they may be someone else).
  2. Compose a message (be it verbal or written) in which you tell the person specifically how helpful they have been to you and what you have appreciated about the way they have provided that help.
  3. Send your message, or find an opportunity to share your thoughts in person.

 

Why is this important? Because it not only makes the person you chose feel a little better, but it reinforces in your mind that there are people who care about you and your writing.

This month I took the opportunity to write to Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Kathryn Rusch to thank them for the wonderful information they generously provide on their blogs. I received a really lovely reply from both of them telling me how much they appreciated my message.

So who have you chosen? Leave a comment below and let us know.


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De-Stress Your Writing Life – Fear of Being Called a Fraud and Fear of Losing Your Creative Edge

Title artwork for De-Stress Your Writing Life

This year I’m blogging my book De-Stress Your Writing Life. You can read it for free on Creativity’s Workshop every Friday. Today’s post is part of the chapter on Discovering Your Writing Fears and Barriers.

Fear of Being Called a Fraud

As you begin sending your work out into the world and receiving complements, you may find a different fear raising its head. You may begin to believe that your achievements have been down to luck – that you don’t really deserve the positive comments coming your way.

You believe that sooner or later people are going to discover you’re not actually as good a writer as they first thought. Then they’ll realize you were a fraud all along.

This fear may show up as:

  • Doubting the positive things people say about your work and magnifying the negatives comments.
  • Feeling extremely nervous and uncomfortable when someone pays you a complement or invites you to participate in an activity that highlights your skills (perhaps guest posting on their blog or speaking at a local library).
  • Double checking invitations and fan mail to make sure the person writing hasn’t got you confused with someone else.

It’s true that in order to hit it big in the writing industry, there is a certain element of chance involved. If you’re submitting your manuscript to publishers or agents, then acceptance may depend on the right person with the right tastes in the right mood picking up your manuscript. If you’re self-publishing, then finding readers can also come down to chance. Some books take off. Others don’t.

However, that kind of chance is linked to discoverability. Whether the right editor picks up your submission or not is largely out of your control. Whether your self-published novel takes off or not is mostly out of your hands too.

What is in your control is your writing ability. It’s true that as writers we’re always learning, but that fact shouldn’t diminish your achievements. The positive feedback and complements you received from your writing were earned while you were sitting in your chair working on your words. If you were the one putting the hours into your writing, then your work is not fraudulent.

The fear of being revealed as a fraud is common among people who do well at something – whether they’re actors, doctors, artists, teachers…you get the idea. You’re in good company, but there are things you can do to deal with this fear.

Here are some things you can try:

  • Make a list of your achievements. Note down even the small things, those little steps that got you to the point you are today.
  • Get your list out from time to time and add to it. Keep it handy so you can read through it when you feel this fear coming on.
  • Remind yourself that no one is perfect. You don’t have to reach perfection in order to be genuine. Don’t let a little mistake ruin your appreciation for what you’ve achieved.
  • Try to view yourself as others see you. Many other very talented people battle with this fear. It doesn’t diminish their achievements, so it shouldn’t diminish yours.
  • Talk to a writing coach, mentor or therapist about your troubles. Their words will hold more weight and their experience will allow them put the situation into perspective for you.

While you naturally don’t want your ego to get the better of you, self-esteem is very important for healthy living. Take the time to reassure yourself that your work and achievements are genuine. You deserve to feel good about what you’ve created.

Fear of Losing Your Creative Edge

We writers are very dependent on our creative ideas. Without those ideas, we’d be lost for words.

A brilliant idea can fire our imagination and lead to prolific writing output. However, even as we ride the wave of excitement with an inspiring idea, our fear may creep in telling us we’ll never be able to keep up such a level of creative production.

Sometimes the more prolific our production of ideas, the more we fear the moment when they stop appearing. We are told the muse is fickle and may disappear on a whim.

Therefore, we may wonder how we can protect ourselves from the loss of our creative edge.

This fear may cause you to:

  • Bounce from one creative project to another without knuckling down to finish anything for fear you’ll miss an idea.
  • Continually look ahead in your story, wondering how you’re going to fix a creative problem several chapters in the future while stalling on your current chapter.
  • Douse your creative highs with worry about where your ideas come from and how you can reproduce this success.

The solution to overcoming this fear is to:

  1. Understand how your creative mind works,
  2. Learn what you need to do in order to feed your creative process, and
  3. Trust that if you’ve done the first two steps then the ideas will flow as you need them.

In an upcoming chapter we will go into the creative process in more detail and show you a unique way to understand how your personal creativity works.

In the meantime, you can try some of these suggestions:

  • When you next get a good idea, make a note of what could have triggered it. What had you been reading? Had you been watching something on television? Did an interesting fact stick in your mind and then germinate into this idea? Did it come from a fascinating conversation with someone, or after a visit to a new place?
  • Look for patterns in your creative moments. Start learning how your mind words and what it needs to create ideas.
  • Keep an Idea Book to store the ideas you’re not currently able to use. This will give you a safety net for those times when the ideas don’t seem to be flowing as freely as you would like.
  • Don’t try to solve writing problems until you’re actually facing them on the page. You may know that you’ve got a plot twist looming in Chapter 7. But if you’re still writing Chapter 4, then try not to allow your mind to skip ahead. Often you will find solutions coming to you as you write. Keep moving forward and more than likely you’ll have an answer by the time you arrive at the problem.

Ideas are like gold to a writer, and you do need a steady stream of them in order to produce good work. But as you’ll see in a future chapter, the origins of your creative ideas aren’t as mysterious and unpredictable as you might think.

*****

Add your comment below. What’s on your list of writing achievements?

*****

My writing is my living, and I’m currently working under some tight deadlines for upcoming fiction projects, but I take time out of my week to publish this because I made a promise to you, my readers, that I would post here every Friday.

If you’ve found the above helpful, please either send the information on to a fellow writer you feel would benefit or leave a little donation in the kitty to help things along.

Everyone who donates will receive a free electronic copy of the book once it has reached completion.

Thanks for dropping by.

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